I might’ve met Elyssa Kivus through the National Association of Women Business Owners (and connector extraordinaire Sarah Glova), but it is her heart for our community and especially her desire to lift up the women of our community that leave me in constant awe of Elyssa’s awesomeness. Working alongside one another on NAWBO’s board of directors as well as in the Flourish Coworking group, I see how much Elyssa truly cares about others, whether the two-legged or four-legged creatures we love, and how hard she works to capture the images that reflect all that’s amazing around her. From photographing weddings and boudoir sessions to photographing Lung Cancer Initiative events and supporting the great work of A Place at the Table, Elyssa is so very talented, gentle, caring, patient and giving. The warmth and joy that she brings to each event are contagious. Enjoy this peek inside the mind and heart of this absolute rock star!

About Elyssa Kivus

Elyssa Kivus is a divorce attorney turned wedding and boudoir photographer. After graduating from the journalism school and then the law school at UNC-Chapel Hill, Elyssa practiced law and photographed weddings and portraits on the side for several years before taking her “side hustle” full time and leaving the law behind. Having started Kivus & Camera in 2015, Elyssa will soon celebrate 10 years as a professional photographer by photographing 10 couples celebrating their 10th anniversary this year so, if that describes you and your partner, please reach out to Elyssa. Plus, in 2023, after having photographed many boudoir sessions on location, she opened the Triangle Boudoir Studio in downtown Raleigh with a mission to help women embrace their present selves.

WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT TRIANGLE BOUDOIR

For anyone thinking to themselves, “I’m not the boudoir type”, there is no such thing. Triangle Boudoir sessions are for any woman, and EVERY woman should try boudoir at least once in her life. It is an empowering experience that will absolutely boost your confidence and leave you feeling proud of yourself. Learn more at triangleboudoir.com and follow along via social media on Facebook and Instagram.

First Friday Female Founder Feature:

Elyssa Kivus

How would you describe your company and the products / services you offer?

The Triangle Boudoir studio is in Raleigh, NC. The Triangle Boudoir mission is to help women see and love themselves as the gorgeous badasses they are.

Why did you start your company?

I have been a photographer my whole life and started Kivus & Camera because the joy I found in photographing weddings was the perfect counter to how unhappy I was in my then-job as a family law attorney. I was successful enough in that “side hustle” to take it full time.

A few years later, I started Triangle Boudoir to push back against the pressure placed on women to hate themselves. So much of what is sold to us rests on the seller’s assumption that we should feel the need to change. We’re being told we need to change our shape, we need to remove evidence of aging, we’re eating the wrong things, wearing the wrong things, using the wrong products. The mere act of logging online results in a barrage of “fix yourself” content. It’s overwhelming to simply exist as a woman.

I want portrait sessions with Triangle Boudoir to help women build confidence to swipe past the noise, knowing they are already amazing. It’s about having fun in your body and seeing yourself in a different light.

What has been the most rewarding part of your journey in founding this company?

I love making connections with women from all ages and all walks of life. We have so much more in common than we think. I’ve learned something from every woman who has been in front of my camera in the Triangle Boudoir studio.

About what are you most proud?

I’m proud of women who, after thinking the boudoir session is a gift for their partner, realize they actually gave themselves something even better. I’m proud of changing the way women see themselves. I’m proud of every happy tear I’ve seen at an image reveal. I’m proud of the power of women loving themselves.

Are you naturally organized, was it a skill you learned or is it something with which you regularly struggle, and what tips or tools do you use to stay your most organized?

I am naturally organized to a fault. I was the child who lined her stuffed animals up by size, then species, then color, then name. If I don’t have structure, I find it hard to function. That doesn’t mean I never struggle with organization. It just means I know to stay on top of it. It’s taken trial and error to find systems that work for me in my businesses and in my personal life. And I schedule regular check-ins with those systems so I can tweak or overhaul if needed.

Who’s the one person who changed your life and why?

This may be overly cringe, but it’s my husband. He’s had confidence in me the entire time he’s known me, so much so that, when I’m unsure about something, it is his confidence in my success which spills out onto me. He’s the kind of amazing person that inspires others to be better. I’m certainly better for having him in my life.

What words of wisdom would you have for someone who is overwhelmed with staying organized and / or productive?

Make your health and happiness your #1 priority. It’s much easier to be productive when you’re not miserable.

When setting goals, do so in accordance with your personal values and your personal definition of success. Not the ones trotted out regularly by CEOs whose lives are nothing like your own. I will never be a person who completes a morning routine before the sun comes up 365 days a year, and that’s okay. I still get sh*t done. Don’t change yourself to fit someone else’s idea of success – find what success is to you.

Once you’ve set goals that are aligned with your values, put monthly, or at least quarterly, check-in meetings on the calendar. This is a meeting with your past, present and future selves. Write down what you’ve accomplished, tweak in progress things if necessary and set new goals. Consider these meetings mandatory.

Do you use technology to help stay productive or organized? If so, what’s your favorite program, app or tech tool?

Yes. I have tried just about every task manager there is but stopped trying new ones when I found TickTick (not TikTok; that’s the opposite of a productivity app). What I love most about TickTick is the ability to drag tasks around in the calendar view. As I’m planning my week, I’ll create my list of tasks (most of which have auto-populated because they repeat or they’ve been created as part of a workflow for a specific photo job), and, then, time-block those tasks into my week.

How do you feel about work / life efficiency or integration in your life, including any tips or challenges for managing the personal and professional commitments in your life?

Part of the reason I’ve been putting more energy into Triangle Boudoir is so that I can create better work/life balance. I love weddings and hope to never stop photographing them, but I am scaling back on the number I take so I have more weekends available to spend with friends and family. This is related to what I wrote about personal values. One of mine is that I don’t want my life to fit around my work. I want life to come first.

So, when I sit down to schedule my month, I put life in first. Date nights with my husband, taking myself to a matinee, lunch with a friend, running, strength training. Those go into the calendar before I assign the remaining time blocks for editing, client calls and other work tasks.

About what causes are you most passionate?

Women’s empowerment and rights. Mental healthcare, especially for young people. Funding cancer research.

What have you found to be the most effective way to relax after a long day or super long week?

Movies, tv, books – I consume as much (if not more) art than I create.

What is your favorite author / book?

My favorite book of all time is The Little Prince, and I usually reread it once a year or so. There are so many life lessons packed into a short “children’s book.” But what I read most are high fantasy sagas. I love escaping to worlds created by authors like N.K. Jemison, Ursula K. Le Guin, George RR Martin, Nnedi Okorafor, Patrick Rothfuss and Brandon Sanderson.

What is your favorite inspirational quote?

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us” – JRR Tolkien via Gandalf

What is your go-to accessory?

I don’t really have one aside from the glasses I need to see. 😎

What are the fundamentals of your beauty routine?

AM: simple facewash with just water >>> vitamin C serum every other day >>> moisturizer >>> sunscreen.* If I’m going somewhere, I’ll add lip color and maybe some eye makeup.

PM: oil cleanser, toner, retinol serum every third day, moisturizer

*as a very pale person with a family history of skin cancer, I am diligent with sunscreen. I use primarily Supergoop products. I use Play for my body. On my face, I wear their Unseen Sunscreen if I’m working out or if I’ll be outside a lot. If not, I use their tinted Mattescreen. I also have some of their SPF eyeshadows, and I like those a lot.

What is your favorite food?

A smashburger with cheese and french fries.

Combining some of Elyssa’s favorites: her husband, running and Walt Disney World

Of the locally-owned and -operated establishments in the place you currently live, which are your top 3 favorites?

LaGana Raleigh – incredible burgers + delicious cakes

The Parlor at Heights House – tastiest cocktails, charcuterie, and the most welcoming staff

Flourish Market/Flourish Coworking – love getting to work side by side with other awesome women and browsing the shop for gifts when I need to get up and walk around a bit.

What is your favorite place that you have visited?

Edinburgh, Scotland.

What movie could you watch on endless loop?

None; I’d always want to watch something different next! But my current 4 favorites on Letterboxd are Mad Max: Fury Road, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Little Miss Sunshine and Clueless. Greta Gerwig’s Little Women and the Sound of Music are probably the movies I’ve seen the most though.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Telepathy.

What advice would you give your 21-year-old self?

Breathe and take it one day at a time.

If you could have lunch with anyone (living or deceased), who would it be and why?

Sara, the dog I grew up with. I just really miss her.

But, if a human can come too, then Taylor Swift. She’s an incredible combination of right brain and left brain excellence. Phenomenal songwriter/storyteller AND super savvy business woman. Endless drive. Most who have met her comment on how kind and genuine she comes across despite her international fame. I would want to ask her about her personal values and definition of success.

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